The jungle tourist heads deeper and deeper into the thicket of palm fronds, wondering if this tip was nothing but a wild goose chase, when suddenly a small clearing opens up. In the middle of the clearing is a grizzled old monkey, sitting in a hot tub. He looks like the poster child for the motto, "it's not the years, it's the miles". He is obviously absorbed in his cell phone, oblivious to the world. The jungle tourist decides to interrupt his reverie.

Jungle Tourist (J.T.): "Excuse me sir . . . may I interrupt you for a moment?" The Head Monkey (H.M.) is jolted into the present, and his eyes dart to J.T.'s eyes with a decided look of annoyance. You begin to wonder if this was such a good idea, then his eyes soften.

H.M.: "Yes, fellow traveler . . . what is it?"

J.T.: "I was directed to you by a troupe of monkeys in yonder clearing. They said you were the head monkey, that you call the shots. Is that true?" H.M. seems amused by your question.

H.M.: I control nothing. I finally understand that. A larger monkey than me runs the show, but good luck finding HIM."

Although a bit perplexed by this answer, J.T. plods forward with the next question.

J.T.: "Can you tell me a little something about yourself?"

H.M. draws a heavy sigh, then pauses to contemplate the question. After a moment, he responds.

H.M.: "I am not one to worship the 'wall of fame', such as it is. Leave the medals and trophies to the Me-Me-Me types. Humph!" After a dismissive grunt, H.M. settles back into a state of repose.

J.T.: "Surely, sir, there must be a few interesting stories you have gathered along the way?" This question seems to take H.M. aback a bit, and he becomes pensive. Finally, a slow smile begins to turn up the corner of his mouth

H.M.: "So you want an interesting story, eh? Well I have seen a few things in my travels." H.M. then straights up, and turns to face J.T. . "We all have to deal with the unrelentingly ponderous nature of life, but sometimes the occasional adventure, misguided or otherwise, can give one something to ease the pain of life's seeming banality." After taking another moment or two to collect his thoughts, he continues: "Ok, here are a few of my adventures:"

• I was born the year Sputnik was launched, heralding the era of space exploration. Recent studies have curried in me an interest in ufos and extra-terrestrial visits. I have shared many of these thoughts with the Science Monkey. He has further information on this topic.
• I am a musical monkey. I was the president of our high school choir, starring in several of our spring musicals, and headed up one of our local garage bands. I believe that music represents a bridge between souls . . . a sort of universal language.
• I was taking flying lessons before I had my first driver's license. This was not the result of a priveleged life, but rather the product of saving my $1.85 per hour salary that I earned working after school at the time.
• I loaded up all of my belongings into my pickup truck and left the midwest for California at age 18, landing in Ventura, California. During this time I studied yoga with Indra Devi, who was known as the "yoga teacher to the stars" during the old Hollywood years of Gloria Swanson. This was the beginning of my hippie-wannabe stage.
• As I migrated north, I met my son's mother, and began life as a more responsible monkey. My work experience has included everything from factory worker to grill cook, massage therapist to health food store clerk, medical supplies sales to computer programmer, plus many more far flung ways of making money. During the final 20 years of my career, I worked with thousands of other IT specialists in a Fortune 50 company. I am fortunate enough to not answer to any boss today, and am left to my monkey-mind thoughts and minor projects.
• I have traveled to London, Paris, Italy, Mexico, Jamaica, and many of these United States as well.
• I have been known to enjoy a banana daquiri from time to time (or 2, or 3, etc., ad infinitum), but these days my preferred poison is Haagen-Daz ice cream. I enjoy cooking for others and have fed many people over the years. Some of my dishes that get the most positive responses include my garden-style primavera spaghetti, my green chili/chili, and my pasta salad.

H.M. pauses and smiles to himself as he ponders the years gone by. Then, with an impish grin, he adds: "I could tell you more of my experiences, but due to their ribald nature, you may need a permission slip from your mother." With a chuckle, he returned to his thoughts, and I . . . well, I was ready to see what other interesting characters I could find in this crazy place . . .